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Elloo there.. hehe back to blogging again... aiyo i tell you.. its been a month i thin since i last wrote anything... haha, oh well i think it paid of... nyah haha... well life... life is erm.. fun, at times it sucks, er... happy... smile... er... joy... and sometimes confusing... for me la... what else can be so bad of life... hey at least i'm living it right... yea yea... cut crapping already... yeah ok then... me and muh blabbering bout life... haha what can you say... still the same old wacky me...

Ah... since my head is all straight... i think... mmm... college.. college has been going really well... except that i have to resit my comm skills test tomorrow.. darn... why?... maybe.. i didn;t do it well... or i might have missed alot of stuff when i was studing.. or most problably not concentrating and thought it was easy... or to overconfident with the test.. well i confess... its all that together.. and what do you get?.. an ultimate disaster... argh.. and this is my price... a very bad price which.. involves money... thats 200 ringgit for the resit test.. well there are others doing it with me as well... so i can't say anything... well then what about the rest who actually did not study for the test? i mean anyone no harm.. but.. isn't it unfair that people who cheat get away with it and the inocent gets the suffering... its that... i did my best.. though my best wasn't good enough but i tried... no regetts... its just that... i feel that... if you didn't study or something liek that... well just accept the consequesces and not to do it again.. well i never my lesson from that.. i hope in due time i bare this in mind... as for those who cheated... well in this modern world.. whats cheating to them... it like having fun... i could jolly well do that also... but i fewl guilty for doing it... its embedded in me that i can't cheat... if i did.. i would regrett for the rest of my life... seriously... and for everything else... as i can say... its true... well tomorrows the test.. better do it well and not flunk it... or thats the biggest mistake i have ever done... as i can count...

Well... good news ter day... my friend just started a relationship with a guy... cool... i wish those fellas all the best in life... and pray that it'll last... well... i do have a confession to make... when i like someone... its obvious that the long conversations.. messages... the way i look at someone... its just hard for me to explain... i.. just cant tell someone that i like her.. can i?... htis question has been pondering in my head ever since i had feeling for someone... i can't simply tell someone i liek her... or something liek that... i can't. it doesn't feel right... it doesn't prove anything... i like her.. she doesn't like me or doesn't want to be with me.. either way... i dun feel right... its embedde in me that its not right... is it me or is it just a feeling... if it is.. then i can control it.. if its not.. then god.. help me...

I don't wish for anything but just happy to live my life... i dont understand to concept of death... nor life... just live it.. everyday as happy as it can be... nor a day with pain or sorrow... i know.. i felt pain and sorrow... sometime insane... it felt like a part of me died and looks as if something or someone took control over me... for me... i call it... "the darkness in everyone"... everyone has it... its just that the nature of it we do not show... though some might lust.. greed.. sex... power.. dominance... kill... i dunno... for me... i call it the death of life take its life and destroy... confusing?... told you.. i'm straight... though its my bad nature... oh well... what good can come out of it... its like another bedtime story...

Well.. thats it for now... i've blabbered enough already... well wish me luck for tomorrows test.. i pray that i'll get that through... amen... ^_^